Be Not Afraid

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 24 Embracing the Dawn

Lately, I’ve felt like I’m stuck here:
Grand Teton National Park at Dawn

Not exactly a bad place to be!  But I don’t mean stuck amidst unbelievable natural beauty, starting up awe-struck at the Grand Teton’s.  I mean stuck in dawn, that time when the sun is still below the horizon and things aren’t quite yet illuminated.  Everywhere I look, things seem a bit hazy and unclear.

I’m anxious for sunrise, when the edge of the sun breaks over the horizon, and suddenly, everything looks clear, bathed in golden light:
Sunrise in Maine

I don’t know why I feel stuck.  It seems silly, really.  Here I am in remission, after months of chemotherapy.  Here I am a mother, after months of pregnancy.  If anything, this should be the sunrise of my life!  Indeed, everything around me is bathed in golden light, and the world seems still and at peace once again.

And yet, I can’t deny the restlessness I feel in my heart, as if I’m preparing for something.  I’m willing to admit I have no idea what it is.  And I’m willing to go even further and admit that maybe it’s merely my own brokenness that makes me feel this way, and that I’m not preparing for anything in particular.  Perhaps this time of my life is what God has spent years preparing me for, and I need to spend less time looking ahead and more time living in the moment.  I don’t know.  But rather than whittle away the days by looking too far in the future, I’m trying to embrace the dawn.

For, I’m starting to wonder if living in dawn is even more important than living in the sunrise.  It is at dawn when our faith is challenged the most, when we most need to trust and keep hope that someday we will be bathed in golden light.  And perhaps the preparation my heart is doing is work that it will continue to do my whole life, until I finally return to God, from whom I have come.

My prayer for you today is that you learn to embrace the restlessness of your heart, whether it be temporary before a big change in your life, or permanent until your final reunion with God.  Embrace the dawn, with its fog and haze, and trust that even if you cannot see ahead, if you reach out your hand, God will be there to lead you.

Thank you for joining me on my 31 day challenge!

Previous days:

Day 1: Be Not Afraid
Day 2: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Day 3 Keeping a Faithful Heart in Light of Suffering
Day 4: Facing Fears with Laughter
Day 5: Listening to My Heart
Day 6: Daring to Love Myself in Order to Love Others
Day 7: Opening Up My Idea of a Remarkable Life
Day 8: Giving Voice to My Fears
Day 9: Being a Bearer of Joy
Day 10 & 11: Give Everything
Day 12: Switching My Focus
Day 13: Reaching Out
Day 14 & 15: Letting Go
Day 16: Giving Voice to My Dreams
Day 17: Putting Fear into Action
Day 18: Clear Eyes, Full Heart
Day 19: Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Clarity
Day 20-22: Facing the End of Things
Day 23: Showing Delight in Others

Check out these other 31 Day blogs that are currently inspiring and challenging me:

31 Days of Courage
31 Days of Purging
31 Days of Vintage Living
31 Days to Feed Your Soul
31 Days of Memory Keeping

Click here to read all the other wonderful blogs joining in on this challenge!

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11 comments

  1. Oh, I could relate to this! I love how open you are in sharing from right where you’re at. I admit to a restlessness as well…but that could very well be because of what’s happening in TWO WEEKS! 🙂
    (big hug)

  2. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 25 Saying No and Letting Go of the Guilt | Be Not Afraid

  3. Amazing post — it describes the way I feel right now and the way I feel OFTEN. I have a very restless, anxious disposition and I know the “dawn” feeling all too well – when not everything is clear or defined or in my “control”. You’re right though, it’s a great time to embrace the uncertainty and face Jesus.

    I want to enjoy my life the way it is right now, too – even while I don’t know where I’m going to live, work, or when we’re going to have kids. I should embrace the time I have as a newlywed, the time I’m at my current job, and the free time I have! Thanks for the encouragement, and the beautiful pictures to remember!

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Lisa! And thank you for sharing your similar feelings…it’s so helpful to know I’m not the only one!! I will pray for you during this time in your life-being a newlywed can be a crazy, scary time, but it’s so wonderful, too! And about embracing the free time before finding a job….it’s so funny that you said what you did. Last year I stopped working for a few months before getting pregnant because of a horrible commute, and at the time I felt like I was wasting my time and not doing anything worthwhile (I would mostly pray, read, write songs, and help a friend with her kids). I see now that it was such an important gift and time of preparation for what was to come: sickness and having a baby! You never know what God is preparing you for in the future, so embrace this time to figure out what moves you, what is important to you, and to grow in your relationships! I am so glad I had the time to do that!

  4. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 26 Find Love, then Give it All Away | Be Not Afraid

  5. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 27 Doing what I Have to Do | Be Not Afraid

  6. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 28 Snow in October | Be Not Afraid

  7. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 29 People Should Know | Be Not Afraid

  8. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 30 Finding Myself Surrounded in Beauty | Be Not Afraid

  9. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 31 Keeping Faith and Hope Alive | Be Not Afraid

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