Not exactly a bad place to be! But I don’t mean stuck amidst unbelievable natural beauty, starting up awe-struck at the Grand Teton’s. I mean stuck in dawn, that time when the sun is still below the horizon and things aren’t quite yet illuminated. Everywhere I look, things seem a bit hazy and unclear.
I don’t know why I feel stuck. It seems silly, really. Here I am in remission, after months of chemotherapy. Here I am a mother, after months of pregnancy. If anything, this should be the sunrise of my life! Indeed, everything around me is bathed in golden light, and the world seems still and at peace once again.
And yet, I can’t deny the restlessness I feel in my heart, as if I’m preparing for something. I’m willing to admit I have no idea what it is. And I’m willing to go even further and admit that maybe it’s merely my own brokenness that makes me feel this way, and that I’m not preparing for anything in particular. Perhaps this time of my life is what God has spent years preparing me for, and I need to spend less time looking ahead and more time living in the moment. I don’t know. But rather than whittle away the days by looking too far in the future, I’m trying to embrace the dawn.
For, I’m starting to wonder if living in dawn is even more important than living in the sunrise. It is at dawn when our faith is challenged the most, when we most need to trust and keep hope that someday we will be bathed in golden light. And perhaps the preparation my heart is doing is work that it will continue to do my whole life, until I finally return to God, from whom I have come.
My prayer for you today is that you learn to embrace the restlessness of your heart, whether it be temporary before a big change in your life, or permanent until your final reunion with God. Embrace the dawn, with its fog and haze, and trust that even if you cannot see ahead, if you reach out your hand, God will be there to lead you.
Thank you for joining me on my 31 day challenge!
Day 1: Be Not Afraid
Day 2: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Day 3 Keeping a Faithful Heart in Light of Suffering
Day 4: Facing Fears with Laughter
Day 5: Listening to My Heart
Day 6: Daring to Love Myself in Order to Love Others
Day 7: Opening Up My Idea of a Remarkable Life
Day 8: Giving Voice to My Fears
Day 9: Being a Bearer of Joy
Day 10 & 11: Give Everything
Day 12: Switching My Focus
Day 13: Reaching Out
Day 14 & 15: Letting Go
Day 16: Giving Voice to My Dreams
Day 17: Putting Fear into Action
Day 18: Clear Eyes, Full Heart
Day 19: Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Clarity
Day 20-22: Facing the End of Things
Day 23: Showing Delight in Others
Check out these other 31 Day blogs that are currently inspiring and challenging me:
Click here to read all the other wonderful blogs joining in on this challenge!