I’ve always struggled with change. Even as a little girl I’d spend a week after we returned from vacation crying in my bed at night over the fact that it had ended. After experiencing wonderful, memorable times, I had a hard time trusting that it would ever happen again.
I still struggle to trust in the beauty of coming days. And I still lament the ending of happy days. After experiencing the ebb and tide of happy times, over and over throughout my twenty-seven years, it seems like I should know better. But still, my weak heart fails to trust.
As the sun has begun to set earlier, the air feel chillier, and the leaves become crunchier, I’ve noticed myself lamenting Autumns of the past. Specifically, the two fall seasons Mike and I spent living in Colorado. It’s still hard for me to pinpoint exactly what it was about the fourteen months we lived in Colorado that enchanted me so. But I think it was something like this: The grand beauty all around us seemed to make Mike and me stop and appreciate life more than we ever had before, and in turn, appreciate one another. And when surveying the grandeur of the sun rising over the Rocky Mountains, we seemed to enter even more deeply into the beautiful mystery of the greatness, yet closeness of God.
I struggle in the same way with the ending of friendships. After moving between states six times in the past ten years, I’ve come to realize that many friends are given to us for a season, when we need them most. Yet, I still lament when the seasons of our life change and friendships slowly fade away. Just as I strive to hold on tightly to the beautiful time we spent in Colorado, I hold too tightly to friendships that begin to slip through my fingers. I fear the end of things, because I fear I will never experience such beauty again.
And yet, I’m learning that I need to face my fear and trust in the promise of the beauty of the future. For, “though my flesh and my heart fail, God is the rock of my heart, my portion forever” (Psalm 73:26). Through all Autumns of my life, wherever they may be, the beauty of the Son that rose and overcame death never changes. Through all friendships of my life, with whomever they might be, the beauty of my friendship with God never changes. When I hold too tightly onto the happiness of the past, my palms are closed off, unable to grasp onto the happiness of the present. And oh! There is so much happiness to be held onto, every single day.
My prayer for you today is that you allow yourself to let go of the past you’re holding onto, so that you might be more open to the beauty of the present day, and the beauty of the future. Cherish memories of the happiness of past days and past friendships, but strive to have a faithful heart, and believe in the happiness God has planned for your future.
Thank you for joining me on my 31 day challenge! (And for forgiving me for the need to combine some days here and there due to the craziness of life with a baby!)
Day 1: Be Not Afraid
Day 2: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Day 3 Keeping a Faithful Heart in Light of Suffering
Day 4: Facing Fears with Laughter
Day 5: Listening to My Heart
Day 6: Daring to Love Myself in Order to Love Others
Day 7: Opening Up My Idea of a Remarkable Life
Day 8: Giving Voice to My Fears
Day 9: Being a Bearer of Joy
Day 10 & 11: Give Everything
Day 12: Switching My Focus
Day 13: Reaching Out
Day 14 & 15: Letting Go
Day 16: Giving Voice to My Dreams
Day 17: Putting Fear into Action
Day 18: Clear Eyes, Full Heart
Day 19: Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Clarity
And click here to read all the other wonderful blogs joining in on this challenge!