Be Not Afraid

31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 10 & 11 Give Everything (Plus Prayer Request)

A few days ago, after hemming and hawing and convincing myself that it wasn’t good enough, I faced my fear of rejection and sent a song I had written to a friend of mine.  Now, I’ve often shared my songs on here.  However, I’ve never actually asked for feedback.  Plus, this friend of mine is extremely musically talented, so to ask for his feedback in particular was difficult for me.  But, I did it anyways, even though I cringed a little when I finished emailing him the recording and hit “send.”  What pushed me to share my song was not only that I’ve made a committment to live differently, to face my fears and live a life of hopefulness.  There was even more motivation than that.  For, this song is very dear to me.  I wrote it for my son, John Paul, and wanted my musical friend’s feedback because I’m planning on singing it to John Paul at his baptism this weekend.

When I was reading through the bible, choosing the readings for John Paul’s baptism, I was again reminded of how many God’s promises are for us.  There were so many wonderful passages that told of God’s love to choose from!  And, reading those passages made me start to wonder what I wanted John Paul to know as he entered the church.  Especially in light of the many dark times Mike and I have endured during the past few months, I wondered what I would tell John Paul about faith and the promises of God, could he understand.  This song is my message to him, a reminder to always keep his faith and heart strong, and to not only return everything good he receives back to God, but to also give God all of his worries and fears as well.

And I’m so glad I shared the humble recording I’m now sharing with you with my friend.  For, he took a simple song and helped me make it something beautiful.  Hopefully I can share the finished product with you in the future, but for now, enjoy me and my poorly tuned guitar, recorded in the bathroom during a short nap John Paul took in his crib a few days ago (I’m actually pretty sure John Paul woke up as I was recording this and began screaming but thank goodness you can’t hear it in the recording.  Otherwise you might worry about my mothering skills.  But not to worry, I rescued him from jail as soon as I finished!)

Be Not Afraid

Do you know that you are loved
more than you can imagine?
Do you know you shine for all to see?
Do you know you are beloved
by the One who has made you?
Do you know in Him you’ve been set free?

Please believe, and…
Be not afraid, of anything.
Be not afraid, give everything
to the One who loves you.
Be not afraid.

Above all else, believe in love
and never give up hope,
for in your heart the Lord is always near.
Above all else, the Lord reigns
and He will always keep you
from all the evil that you fear.

Please believe, and…
Be not afraid, of anything.
Be not afraid, give everything
to the One who loves you.
Be not afraid.

Today, my heart is very anxious.  There have been a few times when I’ve had to actually remind myself to stop, and just breathe, slowly.  I am terrified of being scanned tomorrow.  And I am terrified of finding out the results Thursday.  I’m terrified of a return to needles, doctor’s offices, medical forms, and so on.  But how can I tell my son to “be not afraid of anything,” with such deep fear in my own heart?  And so I am trying my best to face my fear, to remind myself of how far I’ve come, how blessed I am, and how faithful our God is.  I know He will be with me tomorrow and Thursday, no matter what is discovered in my body, and in this faithfulness I will trust.  It’s not a faithfulness that I can explain in words, or even make sense of in my head; rather, it is a faithfulness that permeates my heart.  And so, as my song for John Paul asks him to do, I am giving all of my worries and fears to God.

If I may do so, I would like to once again ask for your prayers.  Please pray that my family and I may be strong throughout these next two days, and that all of the amazing care I’ve received has healed my broken body.  If you’d like to pray when I’m actually being scanned, it will be at approximately 7:30 tomorrow morning, an hour after I am injected with radioactive glucose (fun!).  Before the scan, I will have an hour to lie in a dark room, alone, with nothing but my thoughts and a very large blanket.  I would be so happy if I could dedicate that hour as prayers for you.  Please comment on this post or email me at awillems@alumni.nd.edu, and tell me how I can pray for you.  It truly would mean so much to me to be able to offer up that time for you, so please let me know what prayers you need, no matter how big or small they might seem.  And, if you’ve emailed me a prayer request in the past, please rest assured that I have been praying for you, and that I will continue to pray for you tomorrow.

As always, thank you for all of your support and love, and thank you for joining me on my 31 day challenge!

Previous days:

Day 1: Be Not Afraid
Day 2: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Day 3 Keeping a Faithful Heart in Light of Suffering
Day 4: Facing Fears with Laughter
Day 5: Listening to My Heart
Day 6: Daring to Love Myself in Order to Love Others
Day 7: Opening Up My Idea of a Remarkable Life
Day 8: Giving Voice to My Fears
Day 9: Being a Bearer of Joy

And click here to read all the other wonderful blogs joining in on this challenge!

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31 comments

  1. Clete Willems

    The song and words are beyond beautiful; I’m so proud of you. Please pray that your father is given some of the faith and insight into life that make you so remarkable and inspirational to others.
    All of us who know you and love you will be with you tomorrow morning sharing the moment and helping to lighten your wonderful heart.

    • Thank you so much, Dad. I have been praying for an increase in your faith (as I pray for an increase in mine, as well). Thank you for being with me in spirit as I was scanned and being with me in person to celebrate my good results!! I love you!!

  2. Amazing how, even though you might be alone before your scan, you will be in the minds & hearts of so many who love you.
    Please pray for my family, especially my brother, and, of course, for L’Arche.

  3. Megan

    Ali, I can’t stop playing your song…gorgeous…our home will be praying tomorrow morning. I would appreciate prayers for my uncle Phil, aunt Mara, and cousins TJ and Brendan. Much love to you!!

  4. Alli – I write songs, too. Beautiful. Your honesty in facing your fears is encouraging me to be honest in my prayers. Thank you. I am praying for you now.

    Please pray for my son with autism who has been going through a very anxious year. Pray that we can figure out how to help him through this time. And pray for mom and dad, because it spills over.

    God’s peace to you during the scan.

    Dixie

    • Dixie, how awesome that you write songs too!! I would love to hear them if you ever share them on your blog!

      Thank you so much for your prayers. I prayed for your son last Wednesday, and will continue to pray for him and for your family. I don’t know firsthand what it is like to have a child with autism, but I have many friends with developmental disabilities and have seen their unique struggles. I don’t know if you saw my recent comment on your blog, but just in case you didn’t, you should check out my dear friend Caroline’s writing. She has a brother with autism and writes beautifully about their struggles and triumphs at: awishcomeclear.com

  5. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 12 Switching My Focus | Be Not Afraid

  6. Laura Gauthier

    Hi Allison,

    I’m in the Folk Choir at Notre Dame, and was just told about your blog. You have an absolutely inspiring story, and please know that you are in my prayers. You are an amazing woman, with a beautiful voice, too! 🙂 I admire you so much for how you are living your life. You are a blessing to us all. I look forward to reading (and listening to) more of your story. You are so beautiful.

    You are in my prayers.

    Love,

    Laura

    • Laura, thank you so much for your sweet words, and so very much for your prayers. I was so touched to heat that the folk choir was praying for me last week….being a member of the folk choir helped me grow in my faith so much so it means so much to me to know of your prayers. Please know of my gratitude! I pray that you grow as much in your faith as I did by being a member of the folk choir and by being at a place as faith-filled as Notre Dame! Love, Allison

  7. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 13 Reaching Out | Be Not Afraid

  8. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 14 & 15 Letting Go | Be Not Afraid

  9. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 16 Giving Voice to My Dreams | Be Not Afraid

  10. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 17 Putting Fear into Action | Be Not Afraid

  11. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 18 Clear Eyes, Full Heart | Be Not Afraid

  12. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 19 Strength, Wisdom, Courage, and Clarity | Be Not Afraid

  13. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 20-22 Facing the End of Things | Be Not Afraid

  14. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 23 Showing Delight in Others | Be Not Afraid

  15. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 24 Embracing the Dawn | Be Not Afraid

  16. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 25 Saying No and Letting Go of the Guilt | Be Not Afraid

  17. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 26 Find Love, then Give it All Away | Be Not Afraid

  18. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 27 Doing what I Have to Do | Be Not Afraid

  19. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 28 Snow in October | Be Not Afraid

  20. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 29 People Should Know | Be Not Afraid

  21. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 30 Finding Myself Surrounded in Beauty | Be Not Afraid

  22. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing My Fears: Day 31 Keeping Faith and Hope Alive | Be Not Afraid

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