Be Not Afraid

A Piece of Heaven, Asleep on my Chest

Today has been one of those days.  John Paul has started teething and has been inconsolable all morning (and last night, all day yesterday, and the day before . . . well, you get the idea!)

Although I hate seeing him in pain, he makes the sweetest sad face that I can’t help but smile as he cries out, high-pitched and screeching.  As I write this, he’s snoring, face planted in my chest, with his sweet little arms curled around my waist.  I was just reaching my breaking point, and then this beautiful moment happened.  And now, in the stillness of our cozy little home, I bow down my head, kiss the top of this angel’s head, breathing in the smell of clean hair mixed with the slight scent of spit up formula mixed with some unexplainable lovely baby smell, and say a prayer of thanksgiving.  Here I am, a broken woman full of faults, blessed by a piece of heaven asleep on my chest.  As he nuzzles his head into the bright red scar on my chest that marks the spot where months ago doctors found a cancerous growth, I am at peace.

In a few moments he’ll wake up and cry out in pain, a look of confusion and sadness on his face.  I’ll try to console him and make him feel loved while cleaning up around the house, switching the laundry, starting dinner, and attempting to make a dent in the many emails and messages I need to respond to (although that is a truly wonderful blessing of a problem to have-I am loved and blessed, indeed!).  Indeed, the afternoon will be chaotic.  But it will be a beautiful answer to so many prayers, and I am beyond grateful.

Today I pray that you find God’s presence in the midst of the chaos of your life – that you find that little piece of heaven that’s hidden somewhere.

Advertisements

19 comments

  1. Pingback: A Piece of Heaven, Asleep on my Chest (via Be Not Afraid) | Shadows of Love

  2. Diane Pfarr

    Ali,
    We assume that the photograph is of John Paul … what a beautiful son ___! The photograph with what appears to be sunlight spilling onto his face is most definately inspired by Jesus ___! You and your family are truly blessed.

    We are excited to recently learn than John Paul now has a cousin … GOD is GREAT,
    Donny & Diane Pfarr

    • Hi Donny & Diane,
      Yes, it is John Paul! And I thought the same thing when I took the photograph. 🙂 We are so excited about Charlie, too!! It is so wonderful that they’ll be growing up together! Thank you so much for your comment!
      Love, Allison

  3. Linda Bysong

    What beautiful eyes your son has. Children are truly blessings from God. They change your life in ways you can’t imagine prior to falling in love with them. I have never regretted having my daughters and thank God daily for them. I’m very happy for you and your son is so lucky to have you as his mom. Enjoy these precious moments and engrave them on your mind and heart to draw upon when he is inconsolable again. God is good.

  4. Michelle Paradise

    Enjoy it all. The quiet times, bad times, cuddling, every precious minute. The early years just fly by. Ali, John Paul has the most beautiful eyes. God bless all of you.

  5. Rachelle

    John Paul is absolutely adorable! Oh my gosh, I bet it is hard to take your eyes off him. Allison I was just saying to Kristin you should be an author. You have an incredible talent for writing. I hope you are doing well and staying healthy.

  6. Karen Caviale

    Ali,
    What a beautiful post. Your description of John Paul’s smell is amazing…I can smell him like you have described, right now. His eyes, as others have commented, are amazing. Heavenly gazing, and, somehow, they seem all-knowing. He seems to sense what you have been through and is so appreciative. He feels your love, I do not doubt that. Thanks so much for sharing these moments with us. I appreciate your blog.
    Love,
    Auntie Karen

    • Thank you so much, Auntie Karen. I agree that his eyes sometimes seem all-knowing…I often felt that he had some kind of understanding when I was suffering and in pain. He was so sweet to me (and still is).

      Thank you for reading my words and encouraging me to share….the past few months have been so intense but so beautiful that I feel the need to share all the goodness I see with others. And thank you for being a wonderful Aunt!! John Paul and I would love it if you wanted to come visit us!! We miss you and Uncle John!

  7. Kathy Wilcox

    Allison: What a beautiful post and what a handsome ‘Little Man’!! You certainly have a way expressing your thoughts in writing! I sure hope and pray that you have been feeling well and that your strength and health are improving with each day. Did you ever get my voice msg I left on your cell phone about 3 – 4 weeks ago? It was in regard to that ‘Survivor’ Bracelet that I gave you – along with the bracelet, I had enclosed a business card of the artist that makes those bracelets, well, I was wondering if you could let me know what her name is and if she has a website or phone number on the card! I want to order more of those bracelets, but unfortunately I gave you my very last business card of the artist that I had! If you could email me the information, that would be great! Email me at either kwilcox@wisconsinutilities.com or at TRVLNLDY1950@charter.net Again, know that my heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family every day! Love ya, Kathy Wilcox

    • Hi Kathy!! Thank you so much for your kind words. I am feeling stronger every day, thank you! I pray for you everyday, too. And no, I’m sorry, I never got your message! My phone isn’t always reliable! I’m emailing you right now.

      Love and prayers to you, everyday.

  8. Pingback: 31 Days of Facing my Fears: Day 6 Daring to Love Myself in Order to Love Others | Be Not Afraid

  9. Pingback: Being Intentional about Closeness | Be Not Afraid

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: