Today has been one of those days. John Paul has started teething and has been inconsolable all morning (and last night, all day yesterday, and the day before . . . well, you get the idea!)
Although I hate seeing him in pain, he makes the sweetest sad face that I can’t help but smile as he cries out, high-pitched and screeching. As I write this, he’s snoring, face planted in my chest, with his sweet little arms curled around my waist. I was just reaching my breaking point, and then this beautiful moment happened. And now, in the stillness of our cozy little home, I bow down my head, kiss the top of this angel’s head, breathing in the smell of clean hair mixed with the slight scent of spit up formula mixed with some unexplainable lovely baby smell, and say a prayer of thanksgiving. Here I am, a broken woman full of faults, blessed by a piece of heaven asleep on my chest. As he nuzzles his head into the bright red scar on my chest that marks the spot where months ago doctors found a cancerous growth, I am at peace.
In a few moments he’ll wake up and cry out in pain, a look of confusion and sadness on his face. I’ll try to console him and make him feel loved while cleaning up around the house, switching the laundry, starting dinner, and attempting to make a dent in the many emails and messages I need to respond to (although that is a truly wonderful blessing of a problem to have-I am loved and blessed, indeed!). Indeed, the afternoon will be chaotic. But it will be a beautiful answer to so many prayers, and I am beyond grateful.
Today I pray that you find God’s presence in the midst of the chaos of your life – that you find that little piece of heaven that’s hidden somewhere.